Keeping it Real

First off, I want to start out this blog entry with a huge thank you to all of you readers out there who take the time to review, ‘like’ my author page, and email me pertaining to my books. Feedback is greatly appreciated, whether it is positive or constructive. One of the best ways to improve is hearing from others about my work! So, to get this started, THANK YOU!

Tying in to feedback, I want to broach the subject of the realism in Through Smoke and Backfire: The Sequel to Through Smoke. I’ve had a couple of people get back to me with concerns of the language used within these books. A few have said that the language was a bit harsh and inappropriate for the story. That is definitely an understandable concern. I have thought about this common thing that is brought up in emails to me. I want to apologize to those who didn’t like it. But I’d also like to explain why I wrote them the way I did.

I want to keep the story as real as possible.

I don’t want you all to think I’m handing out an excuse. I’m being truthful when I say I’m keeping it real. I grew up around firefighters and emergency personnel. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but they tend to have mouths like sailors. It’s almost like it comes with the job. I guess there really isn’t a 100% certain reason as to why this happens – I just know that it does happen.

Think about the TV show Rescue Me. Yes, it’s a fictional show about the FDNY. Denis Leary was the creator/writer/producer etc etc…. However, to not ramble, he has family who is also in this kind of business. If you’ve ever even seen just five minutes of this show, you’ll see that the language is even worse than what I’ve done in my books… It is what it is. I don’t want someone getting back to me and say that the book isn’t how the real thing is.

So… when asked why I felt I needed to put that type of language in my books, the quick and simple explanation is that I want it to be as REAL as I possibly can. Again, I apologize to those who found it offensive and unnecessary. I hope that you can still find enjoyment in the plots in the books and the writing. I keep you all in mind when I’m writing new material – your concerns and feedback do not get ignored, I promise you that!

I appreciate each and every one of you – yes, even those that do not enjoy what I put down into words. You all make me a stronger writer. I couldn’t ask for better readers!

Happy reading to you all, and I hope a wonderful book is in your near future!

J.R.

Do What You Do

 

I’ve learned that a lot of people don’t know this general fact about me – I’m a runner. Just to be clear… I’m not a major track star and have never claimed to be, but I love how it makes me feel! Back in my high school days I ran cross country and man, I’d kill to be able to run how I did back then. Regardless, I’ve been on a good routine since the beginning of May – I invested in a heart rate monitor and watch that allows me to keep track of my runs as well as how many calories I’m burning and my target heart rate zones.

I know many work out professionals say not to harp on the numbers. Don’t weigh yourself, don’t look at the calories…. Blah blah blah. But then you have some individuals who tell you to look at that stuff, so it’s a constant circle of do’s and don’ts that the runner gets so confused by. Personally, I just do what I do and stick to what I have planned for myself. I like to track calories just to gauge how much effort I’m putting into the work. I do NOT look at the scale, seeing as muscle weighs more than fat and people who are exercising get so discouraged when they hop on and see the number climbing, rather than getting smaller. To those who have done this, remember that your fat is being replaced by muscle, and muscle means you are toning up. Always go by inches lost, not weight lost. This is another reason I cannot stand the BMI scale, because athletes always fall into the ‘overweight’ or ‘obese’ category, and that is definitely NOT true!

To get to my point – You just have to do what makes you happy. Hop on that scale, count the calories, whatever floats your boat. Just don’t get discouraged a few weeks in when things aren’t going the way you had hoped. You have to be realistic about your goals. You aren’t going to lose two pants sizes in a week.  I’ve seen this inspirational picture flying all over Facebook lately that says:

It takes four weeks for you to notice a change,

8 weeks for your friends and family,

And 12 for the rest of the world.

KEEP GOING

I know this can be easier said than done, and I’ve had moments where I have to ask questions. I am definitely seeing a more fit person in the mirror, and people are even asking me what I’m doing. And it’s the end of July, so yes, it does take time.

On a side note, back to when I was talking about doing what makes you happy, I have to mention people in this town and their reaction to seeing someone running on the side of the road. They act like I’m some alien. Rather than slow down for the pedestrian, they speed up. Today I was jogging on a country road (I have my phone and pepper spray with me for security), some dude in a white car drives by and honks. I just have to tell myself that I’m out there, capable of doing what I do. If people want to frown down on my hobby, let ‘em! I do this for me. My confidence has been up and I’m wearing amazing clothing and feeling amazing in them! As for the guy who honked… should I be flattered? I –am- that hot chick out there keeping her figure a 10! Hah, just kidding… I’m not NEAR that arrogant!

Whoever stumbles across this blog, I hope you find success in whatever it is you choose to do, whether it be working out, writing, or whatever your hobby may be. Stick with whatever it is. Just like everything in life, it takes time!

 

 

Perseverance !!

            

          Wow, looking at my blog, it’s been since May that I’ve posted an update. So much has happened in just these few short months.  The most important is my graduation from Texas Tech University! It took me awhile, but I finally did it! There’s been lots of life changing things I’m in the middle of doing right now as well.  To make a long story short, life has been going my way.  I’m truly blessed to be where I’m at right now.

            After graduation, I felt sad.  Yeah, I’m admitting that.  What kind of person is depressed after such an accomplishment?  That person is me! Believe it or not, it’s common to sort of mourn graduation.  I did some research and many graduates go through stages sort of what people go through when they experience death close to them.  Weird, right? I thought so, too, but since I actually experienced it first hand, I’m a believer now. 

            The days shortly after graduation were depressing.  I didn’t know what to do with myself.  I would wake up and actually feel a loss in my life.  I knew the job hunting had to commence, but I felt uninspired.  I just knew I’d end up back doing jobs I did before even being in school, and that really made me upset.  I don’t know how people can sit around at home with nothing to do.  I thought I’d be okay, but after a few days, I was driving myself insane! I didn’t want to spend money in fear of how long I’d be without a job, and the walls around me got so old.

            I had been applying for jobs since March but had no bites.  I continued to put tons of applications out.  I knew the more I got my name out, the better it’d be, but I went through some hard times.  I felt discouraged.  I found myself angry and cynical at people – all right after a time I should’ve been happiest for finally achieving my goal of having a degree from a university I’ve dreamt about going to my whole life. 

            I was tired of not having income, so at the end of May I broke down and applied at a preschool.  I got the job almost instantly and kept telling myself that while it’s not what I want to do, it’s an income and it’s giving me something to do.  I told myself I’d continue to put out applications and actively search for something better.  I continued to get rejection emails and snail mail.  Each generic response put me deeper into a hole. 

            In the middle of July, I had a voicemail on my phone from Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center to schedule an interview.  To keep this short and to the point, after two interviews and more of a waiting game, I got the job.  I’m currently on my fourth week there, and things are finally starting to click in. 

            I guess the main idea of this blog post is to persevere and keep trying.  The economy is bad right now. Jobs are few and far between.  It’s normal for graduates to have to revert back to jobs they had before completing their degrees.  Bide your time, keep trucking and applying, and eventually a better opportunity will come along.  I’m the last person to say be positive, because I generally can be pessimistic, but this whole experience since May has really been an eye opener and I feel I’m becoming a better person because of it.  Even though I felt discouraged, I continued to plug away.  I’ve even had phone calls since accepting this job, and sadly, have also received rejection letters that I just toss aside and think nothing of. 

            So now I can say that I have a degree from Texas Tech University, and am also working for the great institution at their Medical School.  I owe all of my glory to God.  Through Him, I persevered.  I allowed him to lead me down the path he wanted me to go down, and things are becoming so much better.

            I’m also in the process of moving.  Labor Day weekend is my move in date! 

            Life is good, things are great.  And to all of you who check in for book updates – I’m about half way through a new idea of a story I’m hoping many will like.  I barely started the idea a month ago, and the muse is really flowing.  It’s an idea I’ve toyed around with for a long while, and it finally begged to be written.

            Happy reading to all, and God bless you! 

Trust, Positivity, Saying Goodbye

            I have gotten behind on my blogging, and for the few who do read it, they are probably saying, “What’s new? You always do.” While I’m only taking 12 hours of courses this semester, it has been one of the most trying.  It is my senior year and I’m really busting my tail end to make the dean’s list and really take names during my last final weeks on the Texas Tech campus.

            Tonight, I’m really not sure what to write about, I just know that I need to.  Life has really come at me full force.  A quote that I have learned to live by in these past few weeks is:

“You gotta have bad days so you can appreciate the good ones.”

            I guess I can say that things really haven’t been that “bad.”  At least I can say that the good has outweighed the bad.  I’ve had a few people come into my life and really test my already fragile trust issues.  To put it mildly, I question why these people were even brought into my life, only to betray me and walk out as if it had never happened.  I questioned God and wanted to know WHY? I was flying so high and then found myself face first in the ground.  I started living with the belief that when I am happy, don’t get used to it, because something will come along like a whirlwind and blow it all away. Truth is, we will never understand why certain people come in and out of our lives.  God has a reason, even if it never makes sense to us.  There’s always a reason, and I need to remember that, even if it has left a bitter taste in my mouth.

I’ve spent a lot of time praying and soul searching.  Before this all happened, I was thriving – I was a strong woman who was becoming more positive and happy by the day.  I’ve prayed to God to allow me to get back to the person that I was before.  Why not just revert back to it?  I know it’s going to take time, but eventually I’ll get there.  As I have described it to others… I’m like a drug addict who relapsed back to my old negative ways and now I’ve gotta be strong to get over it and get back on track, away from this derailment that has turned my world upside down.  One thing that will take years is being able to trust again.  It’ll be hard to tear down that wall.

I can't make people be in my life who don't want to be.  All I want is a little kindness to at least have the closure.  Some people can't man up and do that, so I have to tell myself that it's God's way of exterminating the negativity out of my life.  I have to let Him be in the driver's seat and trust that he is leading me down the path I should be on.  Let go and let God. 

“Accentuate the positive.”

I need to focus on the good things in my life right now and forget about recent events.  Easier said than done, I know, but what makes a person strong is their ability to move forward and not forget their past, but push through and learn from it.  Chalk it all up to learning experiences.  I feel hypocritical. As I write this, I feel the pain drudging up from deep inside of me.  Sometimes it’s very hard to take your own advice.  What I need is someone to slap some sense into me.  Just a good, hard wake up call.  Snap out of it, Jess. You’ve got a lot going for you! Here I am, talking to myself. Hah.

One thing I’ve heard of doing is when you get those negative thoughts in your mind, envision a stop sign to try and bring them to a halt.  I haven’t honestly tried it yet, so I’m not sure how effective it is.

So, to accentuate the positive - I’m alive and breathing.  I was able to get out of bed this morning.  I have the freedom to get my education at the university level at a school that I have dreamed about graduating from since I was a child. Oh, I was also declared a graduation candidate at this school as of yesterday.  My projected graduation date is May 19, 2012. After all the years I have spent in school, you have no idea how sweet this was to my ears. I have a roof over my head.  I have food in the refrigerator.  I have a loving, caring family that loves me for who I am, flaws, quirks, annoying habits, and all.  To me, family is the foundation of everything, so that is the most positive thing I could ever think about in my life. 

Time.  Getting over emotional pain takes time.  Developing my trust in mankind again will take time. I just have to remember that each person that comes into my life is different, and I don’t need to compare them to anyone who has treated me like garbage in the past.  Life is too short to wake up angry.  Look in the mirror and say that today WILL be a GOOD day!

I definitely need to practice what I preach. 

“I’m alive and I’m free, who wouldn’t wanna be me?”

"Holding resentment against someone is allowing them to live rent free in your head."