Do What You Do

 

I’ve learned that a lot of people don’t know this general fact about me – I’m a runner. Just to be clear… I’m not a major track star and have never claimed to be, but I love how it makes me feel! Back in my high school days I ran cross country and man, I’d kill to be able to run how I did back then. Regardless, I’ve been on a good routine since the beginning of May – I invested in a heart rate monitor and watch that allows me to keep track of my runs as well as how many calories I’m burning and my target heart rate zones.

I know many work out professionals say not to harp on the numbers. Don’t weigh yourself, don’t look at the calories…. Blah blah blah. But then you have some individuals who tell you to look at that stuff, so it’s a constant circle of do’s and don’ts that the runner gets so confused by. Personally, I just do what I do and stick to what I have planned for myself. I like to track calories just to gauge how much effort I’m putting into the work. I do NOT look at the scale, seeing as muscle weighs more than fat and people who are exercising get so discouraged when they hop on and see the number climbing, rather than getting smaller. To those who have done this, remember that your fat is being replaced by muscle, and muscle means you are toning up. Always go by inches lost, not weight lost. This is another reason I cannot stand the BMI scale, because athletes always fall into the ‘overweight’ or ‘obese’ category, and that is definitely NOT true!

To get to my point – You just have to do what makes you happy. Hop on that scale, count the calories, whatever floats your boat. Just don’t get discouraged a few weeks in when things aren’t going the way you had hoped. You have to be realistic about your goals. You aren’t going to lose two pants sizes in a week.  I’ve seen this inspirational picture flying all over Facebook lately that says:

It takes four weeks for you to notice a change,

8 weeks for your friends and family,

And 12 for the rest of the world.

KEEP GOING

I know this can be easier said than done, and I’ve had moments where I have to ask questions. I am definitely seeing a more fit person in the mirror, and people are even asking me what I’m doing. And it’s the end of July, so yes, it does take time.

On a side note, back to when I was talking about doing what makes you happy, I have to mention people in this town and their reaction to seeing someone running on the side of the road. They act like I’m some alien. Rather than slow down for the pedestrian, they speed up. Today I was jogging on a country road (I have my phone and pepper spray with me for security), some dude in a white car drives by and honks. I just have to tell myself that I’m out there, capable of doing what I do. If people want to frown down on my hobby, let ‘em! I do this for me. My confidence has been up and I’m wearing amazing clothing and feeling amazing in them! As for the guy who honked… should I be flattered? I –am- that hot chick out there keeping her figure a 10! Hah, just kidding… I’m not NEAR that arrogant!

Whoever stumbles across this blog, I hope you find success in whatever it is you choose to do, whether it be working out, writing, or whatever your hobby may be. Stick with whatever it is. Just like everything in life, it takes time!

 

 

A Reader's Kind Message

Recently, I had a reader write back to me about my newest release, Fight for Absolution.  They were nice enough to take the time to write me on my Facebook author page, and let me know some personal things and why they liked the book so much.  I thought I'd share this person's thoughts in hopes that it would help spread the word and allow others to hear a first hand account at an actual reader's experience with reading my most recent work. The message contains small spoilers, but nothing too bad to ruin the first book for you. Here is your warning if you don't want to be spoiled at all....

You gave me a lot of insightful material to mull over as I got acquainted with Ryan. You asked somewhere if a sequel would be appreciated..... a resounding YES. Sometimes characters just need to go on with their lives un-noticed, but I'd like to see what happens as Ryan struggles to find peace AND victory in his life, not only with Molly and Mom but with Junior and Mariah. Her story is all too familiar in my line of work. I am in recovery myself and watching some of the young people who walk through the doors of the *************** (censored to respect anonymity) whether by choice or mandate, I often wonder if enough seeds will be planted to ensure a hearty root of recovery. Bearing the fruit of the 12 steps is more than not just drinking and drugging. This job is my attempt to give back something to the fellowship that saved my life and saved me from myself and my self destructive ways. I so see Ryan in the folks who are at *********, even now. Their battle is just beginning and I wonder if they are up for the fight for life or if we fail them they will continue to have lives of futile dysfunction. I believed that others but not myself were born with some "coping gene" that helped them get through the rough places. I really believed this and I also knew I had not received such a "gene" in my DNA makeup. I know better now, and Fight for Absolution really hit home. Thank you. Keep on writing, and keep on offering hope where there often is none.


Here is the second message sent:


Let me encourage you to keep writing. There is an audience out there and as word gets around about your work people will find their way to opening the pages and immersing themselves in the stories that hold so much truth and wisdom. The young man at the rehab right now to whom I gave the titles of your books is eager to "get it". He is looking and searching for answers and hope. He's 20 years old. We won't run out of addicts or alcoholics any time soon. It's a sad commentary. They don't want to pay "human service workers" premium pay, but it's not for money that folks serve this population. Sad to say, job security will be there no matter how much information is out there. Drugs is big business. The shiney adds for alcohol glorify drinking. Be encouraged you too are opening eyes to truth.


I am thankful for any feedback and response I get for my work, especially when it's pertaining to something like this.  Knowing that I could help even just -one- person is a victory for me and makes the art of writing worth every ounce of energy and second I put into it.  A simple message is an amazing confidence boost during a time when I question why I even continue to do what I do, so I again want to say a HUGE thanks to the person who took the time to write me these messages (they asked to remain anonymous), as well as to others who write reviews, email, and say things on my Facebook author page.  If what I wrote is good enough to recommend to people going through real life struggles, I feel great in knowing that Ryan Shay's story might be that extra jolt needed to help someone else accomplish a better life and find sobriety. 


Not only do I appreciate positive feedback, but constructive criticism is also helpful.  I strive to be a better author each and every day, so contacting me about concerns/editing problems/typos/etc is also something I like to hear.  If no one is letting me know this stuff, it's hard to improve. 


For those interested, here is all of my contact information:


Email: JTateAuthor@yahoo.com


Facebook: J.R. Tate


Twitter: @JTateAuthor


Or you can leave me a comment right here on my blog.  The method to contact me is based on your preference, and I'll be quick to write you back! As always, a review on Amazon is amazing as well! 


Happy reading to all, and may you all have a wonderful weekend and holiday ahead!   

Now That We're Here... It's So Far Away

This song is one that I've heard a few times, and it really puts in to words how I'm feeling about graduation and my schooling that is coming to a close.

            The fall semester for 2011 has come and gone.  For me, it’s been extremely bittersweet.  For it only being 4 months worth of school, studying, tailing it across a huge campus, and all of the other experiences that have happened in between, it moved fast and slow, all at the same time. 

            I honestly feel that I blinked and the semester was gone.  I remember in August thinking it was time to get the school year going so May would come and I could graduate and be done. Another year of school just seemed so long and excruciating.  I honestly did not realize that it would go so fast.  From where I’m sitting, I’ve got some mixed emotions going on.

            I don’t know where I’m going to be in the next five to six months.  A whole new chapter is going to emerge and I don’t really have a lot of control over it.  It’s an exciting feeling, but it’s also terrifying. I might not even stay here in the town where I’m at, or I could be really lucky and score a decent job and put roots down here. There’s just no way of knowing until I get out there and look at job availability.  School has been a major part of my life.  Let’s face it – I haven’t exactly been “the” traditional student.  I’m finally going to get my Bachelor’s Degree at the age of 27.  A “traditional” student generally gets one at 21-22.  I’ve been going on and off, and even had some part time semesters due to having to work. Sometimes I feel worthless about how long it has taken me, but I keep telling myself (and others have told me too) that at least I’m finishing something I’ve started. So, finishing school (finally) is definitely going to be a big deal for me. I have one more semester left, and if this past semester is any sign of how quickly things can go, I better strap myself in and prepare for the ride. 

            This semester, while taking the least amount of classes you can to still be classified as full time, has really tested me, not only on the academic front, but in other areas of life too.  I have made some new friends, came out of my shell more than usual, and even branched out and attended study groups.  I have never done that before in all the semesters I’ve attended college.  My confidence in my subjects and areas of interest has gotten much stronger.  My goal going in to this semester was to make the Dean’s List (GPA 3.5 – 3.9 required) and I did it!  However, I’m still sort of disappointed in myself.  I missed making the president’s list (4.0 gpa) by 7 points. Ouch.  It kinda stings!

            I mention making new friends.  Thinking back on things that happened, some of the memories aren’t ones I want to remember.  Let’s face it – we all need as many friends as we can in life.  Sometimes I wonder if my definition of friend is different than others views on the subject. To put it short, I have forgiven people who have done me wrong. I have learned that forgiving sometimes is even better for you than it is for the other person. Praying and having a relationship with Jesus and God has really helped me in these matters as well. With faith, anything is possible, even forgiving those who have done you wrong. 

            Anyway, I don’t want to seem negative.  All in all, it’s been a great, fast, and fun semester.  My classes were pretty good and I have met many amazing people from many diverse groups.  My mind is more open now.  Things that were so black and white before are now grey.  I see different point of views in matters when before, I had my belief and that was final.

            I can’t believe I only have one more semester left.  It is bittersweet.  Probably the most exciting, terrifying, amazing, and emotional experience of my life – I can say that I am doing something with my life that I’m damn proud of.  Being a Texas Tech graduate is something I have thought about since I was a little kid and I’m actually living my dreams right now. And as I said above, praying and keeping God and Jesus in my life has really pulled me through.  I couldn't do anything without having faith. 

            Guns up! 

One Year - Mema's An Angel

I've been trying to think of something to write all day about August 27th.  Family members have put their thoughts up on Facebook about a year ago today.  Usually, I'd probably do the same - The only problem is, I have more to say than what a status update would allow me to.

What happened a year ago today?

My Mema passed away.  She was my last grandparent to go to heaven, and one of three to pass away within two years of each other.  Now as I get this blog started, I'm still at a loss on what to put.  Not because there's not much to say about her, but because I just can't put it into words.  My fingers are sitting on the home row keys, but I can't form the sentences.  I guess I can start with saying that people say that it gets easier with time.  I don't know if it's really easier, or if we just learn to cope better.  I guess it's all from your own perspective.

Mema was a West Texas country girl.  She grew up living out here in the area where I do now.  Her daddy was a farmer - a hard working man back before farmers had the insurance they have now to fall back on if their crops didn't grow.  She was tough and extremely intelligent.  She loved to work outside and grow gardens.  She was excellent at crafts.  She -loved- to play board games, cards, or anything that brought us together as a family.  Many things I cook today, I learned from her.  In the summers she would play outside with us kids.  My cousins and I stayed out at her's and Pepa's place when school was out.  Many of my best childhood memories are from summers spent out at their house.

Without her, or Pepa, I would not have many of the things I do today.  They are still providing even in death.  In the last few years of Mema's life I got very close to her.  I've always been close with her, but we developed a special bond.  I lived next door to her and would come over and have supper with her.  Sometimes I would cook, sometimes we'd get takeout, or sometimes my aunt would cook.  I would also go over and help mow and take care of things.  She stopped really going outside.  I looked forward to having those meals with her. We'd sit and chat about whatever was on her mind.  She'd talk about what she read in the newspaper.  I stated in my last blog post that she was an avid newspaper reader.  She loved pouring a tall glass of iced tea and sit at the kitchen table to read the Lubbock Avalanche Journal.  Sometimes we'd even bicker about stuff - it was all harmless, of course!

The day she died I was at work.  I had missed all of the week before due to her being in the hospital and then being ill at home.  I decided to go back to work because not much had changed.  I got the call around 8AM that she had passed away.  The moment the phone rang and I saw that it was my dad, I knew...

It was the second day of school - I had just started attending Texas Tech University.  I left work, went to her house and waited.  Everyone said I could've stayed at work, but how was I going to take care of 10 toddlers with all of that on my mind?  That afternoon I did decide to go ahead and go to class.  I only had one that day and I needed to at least go and get my syllabus and inform my professor about what was going on.  There wasn't much more I could do back at the house.  My aunts, uncles, and father were getting together to go to the funeral home.  The house was empty and I didn't want to be there.

I loved how the family all got back together - I just hated the reasoning as to why.  I think having my nieces and nephew around really helped. They really took our minds off of things, though it all still hovered above us.

The hardest part that I will never forget is after the funeral.  It was on a Monday and I had class early Tuesday morning. I had missed classes, of course, because of the funeral so I knew I needed to get back the next day, regardless of how sad I was.  I knew the best thing to do was just push through and get back out there.  My brother and his family were still in town, and not leaving until the next morning as well.  They drove back to Brownfield to spend the night with my parents.  I didn't go back with them, since I had to be up early for class, it would've been harder on me.  I came back to my house, the house I lived next door to Mema, and for the first time, I was alone.

Reality hit me like a ton of bricks.  Mema was gone.  There would be no more daily evening suppers at her table.  There would be no more sitting and talking to her about what she read in the newspaper.  No more of her warm hugs and her cute laugh when she found something amusing.  I broke down in my living room and cried the hardest I've ever cried.  As I write this I find myself getting teary eyed just thinking about it.  And when I really think about it, it seems so selfish.  But then again, they say the death of a loved one is usually hardest on the living.  Yes, I was happy that Mema and Pepa were finally back together again.  It just hit me hard that for the first time since she passed away, I was alone.  It was probably one of the toughest nights of my life.

One thing that gave me comfort, and still is to this day, is that she is now with Pepa in heaven.  He passed away in April of 2009, and Mema really missed him so much.  She was his caregiver.  After he was gone, she felt she didn't have a purpose anymore.  So now we say that they are together in Australia.  They always wanted to travel there for a vacation and never got to after my Pepa had his accident.

The 2010-11 school year was hard on us all.  My cousins were all starting back to school as well.  We were all depressed.  We all showed it in different ways, as mourning does go, and things had definitely changed.  Sometimes even to this day I have a hard time looking out my window and seeing Mema's house.  It stayed in the family thank goodness, but it is still hard.  There's lots of good memories at that house.  Thank God for those.

Mema was an amazing woman.  She was a woman that I strive to be like.  So strong, so loving, so full of life.  I'm glad that I knew her for the 25 years God gave me with her.  Her and Pepa didn't ask for the hand they got dealt, but they pushed on.  What great role models this family has.

"If you endure suffering, even if you have done right, God will bless you for it." 1 Peter 2:20  - Mema had this in a frame in her house.  This alone lets me know that they are in heaven, side by side. :)

In loving memory of Betty Louise Angerer Tate
January 10, 1935 - August 27, 2010

...I can't believe its been a year....