Hello world. I have been M.I.A. again, for what seems to be the hundredth time. You are all probably thinking (those of you who have been faithful enough to stick around during my long silences) what the heck happened THIS time? To put it short – a major life changing event took place in March – March 1st to be exact.
Without going in to too much detail about the events that transpired, my father passed away from a sudden illness on March 26th. This is the first time I’ve actually sat down and put my thoughts together enough to write them all out. Since this blog is very public, I am going to keep a lot of it to myself, but for those who are curious, it was a lung disease. We are still waiting on the final report from the doctor to know exactly what it was, for genetic purposes so my siblings and I can be careful.
While the possibility of it being genetic lingering around, it could also be an environmental factor. My father was a firefighter/lieutenant with the Woodrow Volunteer Fire Department for 17 years. He also worked refrigeration for a long time before becoming a paramedic. Those are two very high risk jobs where he was breathing in some of the most awful things that could tear a person’s lungs up. Let’s just say, we are anxiously awaiting the call from his pulmonologist.
There is so much to this story and what happened during those short 26 days that at the time, seemed like a lifetime. Eventually I will map it all out and write it down, but with it only being May, the wound still seems too fresh to do that.
He would be turning 55 next Saturday, May 18th. While he was only on this earth a short time, he impacted so many around him, from his children, his wife and other family, to those he worked with at the fire department and EMS station. He was an instructor for EMS for several years, and seeing some of the students he taught years ago at the funeral spoke volumes on how highly he was favored by those who came into his life. I always knew my father was an amazing man, but the day of the funeral was an awesome awakening. We were the third vehicle in line behind the funeral escort and ambulance (he was transported by that, not a hearse) and I looked back and saw just how long the procession was. If dad had been around to see that, he would’ve been blushing.
For anyone that knew my father and saw my interaction with him would say that my attitude was just like him. It used to bug me when people would say that. Not that I didn’t want to be like him, but I felt like I needed to be my own person. Now when my mom tells me I flashed a certain expression that he always did, or said something that sounded like him, I’m proud. He was my best friend.
For now, that’s all I have in me to write about right now. Maybe one day I can sit and write out what transpired in March of 2013, up until my dad was called home. I just can’t do it right now. This is my short explanation of why I’ve been on hiatus from my writing. I’m slowly creating “new normal” that I’ve got to get used to.
Now it’s time for a cliché line, but you knew it was coming – Love those around you. Cherish every second you have with them. One day you will wake up and only have those memories of things you once shared, and if you loved like crazy, laughed, and always let your feelings be known to the other, the memories will bring a smile to your face.
What keeps me strong is knowing that Daddy is always with me. I’ve seen subtle signs reminding me of that, as well as him letting me know that he is okay. I will see him again one day. His passing was not a goodbye – it was a see you later.
I hope you are all doing well! Happy spring…. and may you all be blessed. J